Laughable
by Thorn In Your Side
Summary: Karin- “Once Suigetsu and Juugo are asleep, I’m gonna ravish Sasuke like crazy!” What would have happened if THAT particular plan had been carried out? SuiSasu.


**Laughable**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. **

**A/N: Yum. SuiSasu. So if you haven't been caught up on the pre-Itachi's death (oops, did I just give something away?) manga chapters, this may not make much sense. If Naruto and them hadn't driven Sasuke's posse out of that town pre-planned, would Karin been able to seduce our beloved Uchiha? That's what I was thinking. **

**Summary: Karin- "Once Suigetsu and Juugo are asleep, I'm gonna ravish Sasuke like crazy!" What would have happened if THAT particular plan had been carried out? SuiSasu.**

**x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x**

"There you are, what the hell took so long?" Suigetsu demanded of the fuchsia haired female.

"Keep your panties on, kappa. I was nice enough to buy you that strawberry flavored water you've been nagging me for," she said smarmily, throwing him a bottle, "And Juugo, I got you blackberries."

"Thank you," the mammoth teen said quietly, accepting the fruit. Suigetsu sniffed his water suspiciously. "You didn't spit in it or anything, did you?"

"Hey if you don't want it, I'll be glad to drink it," Karin snapped, handing Sasuke a packet of wild tomatoes, "I'm just trying to improve team relations!"

"You keep _**your **_panties on," the water nin muttered, sipping his beverage, "And, uh, thanks, I guess."

"You're welcome." The smile she gave him was almost genuine, except genuine smile didn't give Suigetsu the heebie-jeebies. And _**her **_smile made him want to check his back for a 'kick me' sign.

00000000000000000000000000

_That's weird, _Sasuke thought, _its barely gotten dark and they're already asleep?_

His posse lay about the room, having dozed off in various positions. The Uchiha sighed and shrugged to himself, laying back onto his futon to catch some shuteye himself.

Suddenly, a body was on top of him, pinning down his arms and legs with its own, straddling his hips. Sasuke's eyes flew open in alarm, sharingan blazing, but the red faded from his irises when he saw that it was only Karin.

…Topless…

"What the hell?" he croaked, but failed to avert his eyes from the immodest sight. He couldn't help it. He was a hale-bodied male, for the love of lust—emotionally scarred, revenge-obsessed, brother-hating though he may be, he still had hormones raging through his body as well as the next guy. Besides, Karin's breasts were a lot larger (and prettier) than her shirt hinted at. It wasn't that Sasuke had never seen breasts before—he'd just never seen one without a baby attached to it. They were more friendly in pairs, weren't they?

"Hello, Sasuke-kun," Karin purred, "Care to join me in the forbidden monkey dance?"

If that was kinky girl-speak for sex, Sasuke was _**in. **_

Sadly (or happily, depends on your view I suppose) before he could say as much, a loud crash was heard, and Karin was dragged off of him. Suigetsu stood threateningly over the boy, eyes fastened on the bulge in his pants and wielding the still dangerous remains of a large glass bottle.

Sasuke's erection died quickly.

"I figured she was going to try something, the smell of drugs was all over her. Improve team relations my ass," he growled, "And what the hell were you thinking? Were you actually going to have sex with _**Karin?"**_

"Um, no?"

The water nin's eyes grew wide, and he quickly backed away. "I…I didn't know you were straight."

"I'm bi," Sasuke said reluctantly. Suigetsu visibly relaxed. "Oh, okay."

Karin groaned and shifted, murmuring, "No thank you, I don't wear muumuus they make my ears look fat…" and the two males grinned at each other. Suigetsu kicked a blanket over her, and nodded to Sasuke. "You should get some sleep."

"Yeah," Sasuke said softly, "Hey, Suigetsu?"

"Mm-hmm?"

"Are you…never mind."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Spit it out, dumbass," the fair haired boy squatted in front of the brunet, gingerly avoiding the glass pieces on the floor, "What is it?"

"Nothing," Sasuke insisted, looking away.

"Ohhhh," Karin moaned loudly, "Oh, Sasuke! Use your tongue—more! Ah! Ahhhh! Oh, yes! Oh, fuck!"

Suigetsu threw the rest of the bottle at her; it bonked her on the noggin and she fell silent. Blushing a little, he turned back to the Uchiha. "You were asking me something," he prompted.

"I forgot my question."

"Liar!" Suigetsu accused.

"Prove it," Sasuke smirked.

The other boy scowled. "I am."

"What?"

"I'm gay. That's what you were going to ask me, wasn't it?"

"Um. No."

"Huh?"

"That's not what I was going to ask you," Sasuke explained. Suigetsu blinked slowly, feeling like an ass.

"Oh."

"I was going to ask you if you were going to kiss me."

Suigetsu cocked his head to the side, eyes puzzling. "What made you think that was a good idea?"

"I'unno." The Uchiha squirmed, uncomfortable, "I wasn't really thinking. It seemed like a kiss scene."

"That wasn't a _**kiss **_scene," Suigetsu murmured, "This is." He moved in to brush his lips against Sasuke's, but—

"Ohhhh," Karin sat up groaning, "What hit me?"

"You tried to molest me and Suigetsu forcibly stopped you," Sasuke informed her, "Go to bed."

She sighed. "Damn it. Plan number 328 was a failure as well."

When the female was back in her own futon, the two boys turned to each other again. "What a mood killer," Suigetsu whined.

"You're gonna let that stop you?"

"Of course not," the boy replied. He pressed his lips against Sasuke's, and darted out a tongue to demand entrance. The brunet pursed his lips in playful refusal, and Suigetsu (undaunted) backed off, kissing his jaw line instead. Sasuke wrenched away in a motion soft enough to discourage, but not disengage.

"I can't do this."

"Sure you can," Suigetsu nibbled at his collarbone, "Look, you've already gotten the flag up—" he brushed a finger over the tent in Sasuke's pants, "Just let me handle the rest."

"No. _No. _Stop. I have to…my brother…I can't afford…distractions."

Suigetsu tutted in annoyance. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

Sasuke looked dolefully into his eyes, and the water nin sighed, grazing his companion's cheek affectionately. "I guess not, huh?"

"Sorry," Sasuke whispered, "But um, listen. After I kill Itachi I don't really have anything to do except go back to Konoha and apologize to Naruto for being such a dick…you wanna…um. I could use some moral support, so…"

Suigetsu smiled at the pale beauty. "I'll be tagging along then. Maybe I'll do such a spectacular job with the moral-support thing that you'll decide to let me jump you?"

Sasuke snorted. "Yeah, that'll be the day."

"Can we keep Juugo? Like a dog or something; he's addictive."

Sasuke rubbed their noses together, chucking. "Sure. But I wouldn't tell him that."

"Duh."

"What about Karin?"

"Let's sell her!"

"Suigetsu!"

"What, we need the money."

"Still! We can't just _**sell **_her!"

"You're right; she wouldn't fetch a whole lot. What do we do with her, then?"

"We'll take her to Konoha," Sasuke said, "I wanna see what happens when she and Sakura meet."

"Fine, but if she tries to jump you, I'm biting her head off."

They lapsed into silence, thinking of the future, and Suigetsu wrestled himself out of the sharingan user's embrace to crawl back to his futon.

"We shouldn't share a bed just yet," he smirked, "You're so pretty I might just give in to the temptation to ravish you as you sleep."

"Uchiha Sasuke is not _**pretty**_," Sasuke grumbled, but he was blushing as he hit the hay, drifting into dreams of happy times the sun had yet to shine on, with his brother dead, Naruto at his back and Suigetsu by his side.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x

**Yeah, that didn't work out too well, did it? Stupid Madara. –sigh- This pairing makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. **


End file.
